A message to all public clippers

This is a subject I feel very passionate about, and I was just faced with this issue last night so I just had to post something today.  To AAAAAALLLLL men who may not know this (because APPARENTLY it is a good number more than I ever realized until now):             

IT IS NOT OKAY TO CLIP YOUR FINGERNAILS IN PUBLIC.  IT’S GROSS. 

Let this humble little blog be a lesson to all of you men who seem to not think it’s a big deal.  Perhaps no woman or socially self-aware man in your life ever explained this to you, you big gross babies.  Just like trimming your nose hairs, nail clipping is something you do IN YOUR OWN BATHROOM…not in the laundromat, not on the subway, not in the office, ONLY YOUR BATHROOM.  Shit, any room in your house, I could give a rat’s ass, just NOT NEAR ME.  Okay, sweeties? 

Last night the public clipping offender was in the laudromat while I quietly folded my towels.  I let it go for a few minutes, but as the clipping went on and on, I walked up to him and asked if he was planning on doing his toenails next.  He didn’t hear me so, speaking up, I asked if he could please step outside.  He politely obliged, at which point I stuffed the rest of my unfolded laundry in my bag and bolted the hell out of there.  :) I hadn’t fully thought my plan through- even after he took the clipping outside, I’d still have to finish folding my laundry with guy-who-thinks-it’s-okay-to-clip-nails-in-the-laundromat. 

I checked with my older brother on this issue to make sure I had a male perspective, that it wasn’t something on the male-female divide like public crotch adjustment, or often nose-picking, both things men do in public WAY more often than women.  Crotch adjustment I can’t judge because I don’t have that equipment dangling down there all the time, so you boys can have that one.  Nose picking one can at least look away and try to ignore (even though catching someone knuckle-deep, digging for a crusty one is kinda like a train wreck- you just can’t turn away), but with nail clipping it’s the SOUND that is so invasive.  There’s no escaping!   My brother confirmed that nail clipping is not an appropriate public activity.  He ventured a guess that perhaps some men just have an inability to see things from the other person’s side.  Or perhaps no one ever told them it was not polite.  Well, if the latter is the case, then I hope my asking the laudromat clipper to go outside was a change in his world forever.  Maybe I was the first person ever in his life to step up and tell him NO- THAT IS GROSS- GET AWAY FROM ME (although from the looks of him, probably not).  Ladies and gentlemen, take a cue, and say no to public nail clipping.   If we don’t, who will?  Make a difference in your community.   Or the public nail clippers will have children and teach them to clip their nails in public, and they’ll have public nail clipping children, and soon we’ll be surrounded by people clipping their nails at the library, at the post office, on the bus and at the dinner table!

Go go go!!!!

I consider myself to be a fairly impatient  person.  I’m working on it.  Through many different calming practices, from countless self-help books to the occasional alcoholic beverage (crowded trains are so much more tolerable after a bevvie or two) to practicing meditation, I’ve managed to bring the anxiety down considerably.  I think I’ve become MUCH more patient than I used to be.  But let’s face the facts: I live in New York friggin’ City.  The mecca of impatience.  Being impatient is a lifestyle here.  It’s almost a requirement.  Everyone is in a rush, all the time.  New Yorkers are in a rush to get to work, they’re in a rush to get home, they’re in a rush to drink, they’re in a rush to eat, and they’re in a rush to pay.  This is just not the ideal place for one to find their inner peace. 

 

I have compiled a small list of just a few pet peeves of mine about impatient New Yorkers that drive me absolutely BATTY causing me to get…well, impatient. 

 

1. The person who doesn’t wait for people to exit the train before getting on.  It’s not so bad at off-peak hours or on a low-traffic train.  Then, I can usually shrug this off.   I’m talking about at rush hour, at a very popular stop like 42nd or 14th, where there are  A LOT of people that have to get off.   And still this classic douchebag feels the need to shove his way through all the people trying to exit the train the moment the doors open.  This sends me into that high anxiety mode where you’re so annoyed that you ALMOST say something, but then you remember that it would achieve absolutely nothing (YOU know what I’m talking about!).  I just have to ask– WHAT GIVES, train pusher?  We’re all getting on the same tiny freaking car! 

 

2. People who can’t even wait for the greeting on an answered telephone call before they begin talking. It sounds something like this (actual bosses’ names have been changed to protect their privacy):

“Mark Snyder’s office, this is Megan speak-”
“Yeah, is he around?!?”

sometimes not even THAT much gets out before the interruption:

“Michael Carp-”
“Yeah, is he in?!?”

I love these people.  They are SOOOOOOOO busy that they have to get that person on the phone RIGHT AWAY, no time to exchange phone manner pleasantries. That 1.5 seconds it takes you to state whose office this is and your name is SUCH a disruption to their busy workday, they just can’t stand it. After all, they already KNOW whose office they are calling, Damnit!! And, by god, you should already know who they are, too! God forbid you ask their name.

3. The person who can’t wait for you to finish paying at the bodega/deli/newsstand before they slap down their exact change for their coffee or newspaper.  No matter that you were there first, or that the cashier is servicing you at the moment.  They have got places to BE, and standing in line at the deli is not one of them. This person will frequently stare directly at you while you get your money out, often become agitated if you have to go in your coin purse for change, and before you can blink they have paid and stomped out before you’ve even finished anxiously stuffing your four dollars back in your wallet.

I should add that I have lived in the Southeast, where everyone’s pace is much much slower, and this is way more annoying to me.  I appreciate the fast pace of New York.  I just wish some people wouldn’t be such assholes and calm down a moment…find their balance.  There is a way to have a fast paced lifestyle yet still have patience and dignity.  

Anyone care to share their own encounters with obnoxiousness?